Stories to Watch: 11/17/11

Rick Perry HQ

-Headline of the Day-
"No, President Obama Didn't 'Call Americans Lazy.'"

Over at Rick Perry fer Prezdint Campaign HQ, things don't seem to be going real well. Rick's polling somewhere behind a cold bowl of dog chow, he's solidified his reputation as an airhead, Newt Gingrich is rising in the polls... Hell, this whole thing is in a tailspin.

So they've apparently gotten a hold of a Wingnut Talking Points Edition of a magnetic poetry set. You just grab a random handful, wing it at the fridge, and presto -- your new winning message. I'm just guessing here, mind you. But it does seem to be the case.

See, Perry's got a new ad out that... Well, it's odd. First, Rick's standing in like a park or something watching TV. No, really -- he's also wearing a blue denim shirt like a prison farm laborer. Anyway, he sees President Obama say on TV that Americans are lazy. So he turns to the camera and says Obama is a pathetic socialist who thinks Americans are lazy, which is why we need a Balanced Budget Amendment. Yeah, none of those thoughts have anything to do with the other ones, which is why I'm hypothesizing the magnetic poetry set.

And of course, President Obama never said Americans are lazy. Rick must be thinking of Herman Cain. What Obama was basically saying was that bureaucrats have been lazy in selling what a great place America is to do business. So, pretty much the opposite of what Rick would have you believe.

Then again, maybe Rick was just too dumb to understand it. That's the choice you're faced with so often when looking at Republicans' statements; are they lying or stupid? (David Weigel, with video)

-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, it turns out that credit default swaps and stupid investments have Wall Street feeling a little under the weather. But don't worry, there's a cure for that!

Click for animation

And now they can do it all over again! (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Perry funds dry up after gaffes and dip in polls."

Whoops! Looks like it's time for another dip in the magnetic poetry set. New Perry ad, "Democrats want to build a NAFTA superhighway to abortion clinics, which is why we need to cut the capital gains tax!" (
Houston Chronicle)

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