News Roundup for 7/6/10

The new face of the Red Menace

-Headline of the day-
"There is no 'free' lemonade."

Except it turns out that there is and it's crushing American entrepreneurial spirit. Chicago Sun-Times business columnist Terry Savage writes about heading off to celebrate the Fourth of July by watching stuff explode in the sky, as the founders intended. On the way there, he saw some little girls with a lemonade stand, just like in the funny papers, so he had to pull over and get himself some, because that's like a rule with him. It was then that he was beset by demonic socialism!

See, he asked what it cost for a glass and the little girls told him they were giving it away. This did not compute. "But you have to charge something? What should I pay for a lemonade? I'm really thirsty!" his brother said and they told him again it was free. This still did not compute.

"Isn't that cute?" his brother's fiance said. "They have the spirit of giving." The spirit of whoozzit now? Computing did not happen.

"No!" Savage shrieked with wingnut rage from the backseat of the car. "That's not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They're giving away their parents' things -- the lemonade, cups, candy. It's not theirs to give." Well, it's all theirs if their parents gave them to them -- that's called a gift -- but I'm starting to detect a trend here and am guessing this came nowhere near computing.

"I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight," he writes. This must've been delightful for the three little girls giving away lemonade to passersby; look kids, your first encounter with a Grade-A asswipe!

"You must charge something for the lemonade," he told them. "That's the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs -- how much the lemonade costs, and the cups -- and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money." Well, unless the whole idea was to do something nice for other Americans on Independence Day, but I doubt that idea would've computed.

But the little girls were hardcore commies and refused to take his money. And so, Terry Savage -- world champion asshole -- decided to write a column in the Chicago Sun-Times (free on their website, BTW) about how giving away free lemonade is destroying America.

Can you imagine what this psycho is like at birthday parties? (Chicago Sun-Time)


-Journalistic ethics at work-
Glenn Greenwald is this guy who's a lawyer, but actually believes in the law -- which means he can't get a lawyer job and he does pundit stuff for Salon.com. Anyway, one of the things Greenwald yells about on his blog is torture -- all the time with the torture. In Greenwald's world, waterboarding isn't an "aggressive interrogation technique" and a punching someone in the face until they collapse isn't a "proactive vertical posture realignment." You know, a real kook.

So Glenn's reading the newspapers because that's what pundits do and he came across an AP story about an American geologist who was held in China and tortured with cigarette burns. "Ah, ah, ah," he said. "That ain't torture. Well, it is, but you reporter guys always pretend it's not when Americans do it." This all tongue-in-cheek, mind you, because Greenwald's got a crazy definition of torture that includes things like inflicting pain -- which the Bush administration didn't share. And since the Bushies didn't share it, neither does the press -- because calling burning someone with cigs "torture" would be terrible liberal bias.

Well, Associated Press learned their lesson from Glenn Greenwald and no two ways about it. He checked the story later and made sure. "Strangely, at some point after I wrote this, the above-linked AP article was re-written so as to edit out the word 'torture' in the two places that word appeared to describe what the Chinese did," he wrote later in an update to his post.

I think someone at AP needs a proactive vertical posture realignment. (Salon)


-Bonus HotD-
"Arizona veterans group bans celebration of Cinco de Mayo."

I think Arizona is in a competition with Terry Savage over who can be the biggest prick. (Think Progress)

Who Cares About the Unemployed? We've Got an Election to Win!

As congress returns from the Fourth of July recess, they'll try once again to extended unemployment benefits for 2.14 million citizens whose benefits have run out. The problem here is Republican grandstanding -- with the unfortunate Democratic Sen. Ben Nelson joining in -- on the deficit. But the amount of money the extension of these benefits would add to the deficit is so miniscule and the stimulative effect of unemployment benefits are so great that it's hard to make any sense of the GOP's argument here. It's like saying, "Yeah, we could buy this new tractor and increase productivity on the farm, but it's a penny more than I'm willing to pay, so we're just going to have to lose all that profit." It makes no sense at all.

Part of the Republican defense is that extending unemployment benefits extends the amount of time people remain unemployed. But this is a crazy argument that assumes all situations are equal and that there are plenty of jobs out there waiting to be filled. There aren't. Economist Paul Krugman explains:


Do unemployment benefits reduce the incentive to seek work? Yes: workers receiving unemployment benefits aren't quite as desperate as workers without benefits, and are likely to be slightly more choosy about accepting new jobs. The operative word here is "slightly": recent economic research suggests that the effect of unemployment benefits on worker behavior is much weaker than was previously believed. Still, it's a real effect when the economy is doing well.

But it's an effect that is completely irrelevant to our current situation. When the economy is booming, and lack of sufficient willing workers is limiting growth, generous unemployment benefits may keep employment lower than it would have been otherwise. But as you may have noticed, right now the economy isn't booming -- again, there are five unemployed workers for every job opening. Cutting off benefits to the unemployed will make them even more desperate for work -- but they can't take jobs that aren't there.


Further, Krugman argues that unemployment benefits help the economy for obvious reasons; if more people have money, more people spend money, and if fewer people have money, fewer people spend money. And no one is as guaranteed to spend money as the person who needs it. Fewer people spending money results in decreased demand, which results in even fewer jobs. This facet of the Republican argument has everything bass-ackward.

The problem here is that the Republican Party has lost their mind. Remember, on the day that Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, pundits were openly wondering if the GOP was going the way of the Whigs. Things had seldom seemed darker for them. Then came the Town Hall mobs, which grew into the Tea Party. Combined with growing impatience over economic recovery, the GOP -- so recently written off as dying -- was suddenly in a sort of ascendancy. They've grabbed onto this small but vocal group like a drowning man grabs onto a floating log. And, as a result, they've become as incredibly stupid as their new base.

A new Gallup poll shows that only among teabaggers and Republicans is the size of the federal debt a huge concern. Only in those two demographic groups does a majority say debt is an "extremely serious threat" to America's future. The poll has a massive flaw in that it doesn't include the economy as a possible threat, so the numbers will be a little weird. But otherwise, it's telling.

Another major concern of tea partiers is "the size and power of federal government" (49%), with 80% believing that "government is doing too much that should be left to individuals and businesses." This would be a lot easier to take if they didn't also hypocritically agree that "Government should promote traditional values" (57%). We all know what "traditional values" means by now, so we can translate these results as, "Big government extending unemployment benefits and guaranteeing healthcare -- boo for big gummint! Big government making sure that men only sleep with women, women only sleep with men, and some women remain pregnant against their will -- yay for big gummint!" The group who argue that the government that governs best governs least would be a lot easier to take seriously if most of them actually meant it.

But to go back to unemployment, these inconsistent tea party geniuses are the ones blocking debate. And make no mistake, the majority is one the sane side -- just not Republicans. Nor their teabagger brain.

To my knowledge, no poll has asked what I consider to be a central question; how many tea partiers are unemployed? From their positions on the issues, I'd say that very, very few are. And those few are stupid beyond words. The entire movement is idiocy run amok, driven by selfishness and ignorance and fear. This is today's Republican Party; terrified of everything, unwilling to sacrifice, and ignorant of both facts and the hypocrisy of their own positions. It's become an unhinged, drooling fool of a party, driven not by its brightest minds, but by the loudest voices in its head.

And this monstrous idiot of a party, this collection of so-called "rugged individualists" who think with one collective hive-mind, has decided to set economic policy for the nation. They are, not surprisingly, doing it wrong. But that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is winning in November. Who cares if it helps the nation? Reelection is all that matters and the tea party nuts are key to that. The party that was once declared dead has risen from the grave and now, zombie-like, shambles off to do the bidding of its own teabagger zombie-plague.

-Wisco


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News Roundup for 7/2/10

In an attempt to shore up his pro-war bona fides, Mike Steele kills an intern

-Headline of the day-
"The Biggest Michael Steele Gaffe of All."

Turns out that the head of the Republican National Committee is a filthy peace-lovin' hippie. There's no other way to say it, I'm sorry. He was out talking to Republicans in the party's Big Tent (yeah, turns out they literally have a big tent they do stuff in) and he told them that Barack Obama should never have declared war on Afghanistan, because war is bad. Especially war in Afghanistan, because Alexander the Great or Napoleon or somebody proved that.

Well, that didn't go over well. A lot of people got all nitpicky about it and pointed out that George W. Bush started this war, not Obama, and that the Republican Party is officially a big fan of war in Afghanistan -- and Iraq and maybe Iran and even San Francisco if they don't straighten up and fly right.

I can understand Mike's confusion, though. The "war in Afghanistan is good" talking point contradicts the "everything Obama does is bad" talking point, so it'd be pretty easy to get everything all balled up. Now people are telling him to resign and things are just bad.

Still, it's not likely that he'll lose his job over this. Chris Good ticks off the reasons and they look pretty solid. Steele will keep his "saying dumb things for a living" job, "largely because it doesn't really hurt the GOP that much when he says unexpected things; the process to remove a chairman is so onerous; it would look bad if he stepped down; and it would look bad if the GOP, with its old-white-guy image, fired its first black chairman because he wouldn't get in line with what everyone else wanted him to do and say."

Which is good news for Democrats. If Steele stepped down, they'd have to start pretending that Louis Gohmert was a big deal in the GOP. (The Atlantic)


-Bush flag porn-
Turns out there's some guy named Carl Malamud whose mission in life is to save government public domain video from disappearing to wherever it is that government public domain video disappears to. His non-profit Public.Resource.Org has, according to the report, saved "2,412 videos in nearly 50 categories." And that includes this Fourth of July-worthy jewel of military/flag/Dubya/Iraq/9-11 porno from the Bush-era Dept. of Defense. I came across this on Reddit, where it's currently being voted through the floor -- because Reddit hates irony. If you're so inclined, go do something about that.

Maybe it's just me, but I find it to be a curious combination of hilarious absurdism and terrifying jingoism -- kind of like the crazy fascist propaganda in Starship Troopers. Your mileage may very.

And so, without any further ado, I present "National Anthem Trailers: Shock and Awe." Try not to have a patriotic orgasm all over your computer screen.

Now go out and find a bald eagle and fuck it. Do it for America. (YouTube, via Mediaite)


-Bonus HotD-
"In another effort to repair its image, BP picks up tab for fireworks show in Colorado."

I know what you're thinking, but they can't have fireworks down in the area affected by the oil gusher or the Gulf of Mexico would explode.

It's the Fourth of July, people. Safety first. Have a great holiday. (Think Progress)

BP and GOP Attempting History's Largest Cover-Up

The oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico is bad. Really bad. Mile after mile after mile of bad. This bad:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Given the sheer size and scope of the disaster, it seems impossible that someone would even consider hiding it. Yet that seems to be what BP has in mind. Out of sight, out of mind. I suppose it shouldn't be surprising that the company that caused the catastrophe by cutting corners in building Deepwater Horizon would also try to cut corners in cleaning it up. BP's attempts to keep the worst of the spill off the front page have been well-documented -- they turn reporters away, while sending their own "journalists" out to cover the story.

According to a whistleblower who spoke to CNN, BP is using dispersant not to mitigate the disaster, but to hide its magnitude.


[Examiner:]

In a shocking interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper on June 29th, Allegiance Capitol Corporation V.P. Fred McCallister said that BP is deliberately sinking oil with the toxic chemical disbursant [sic] Corexit, to hide the size of the oil spill. By sinking the oil before it can be collected, BP won't have to pay fines on it.

McCallister said, "Everybody in Europe, where the standard practice is to raise the oil and collect it, is scratching their heads, and quite honestly laughing at what's happening in the Gulf." He added, "Everyone is looking at us and wondering why we're allowing this to happen."


This is one of my suspicions confirmed. Using dispersant never seemed to make sense to me. I could see using it near the well, where it would clear the water and improve visibility, but using it elsewhere just made no sense to me. It's not like dispersant makes the oil "go away."

And this isn't the only way BP is trying to cover up the damage and hide the oil. They seem to be trying (and thankfully, failing) to literally bury the story under tons of sand.

"BP is trucking in sand to cover up the oil," writes Shannyn Moore. "Let me repeat that -- instead of cleaning up the oil they are just bringing in sand from other beaches and covering it up. In the photos and the video you can see the layering of Grand Isle, LA sand, oil and then a sand of a different type. Photo-journalists have four independent confirmations by local Sheriff's in Grand Isle, Louisiana."

If BP needs help in covering all this up -- and it's clear they do, because it turns out the inept are unsurprisingly incompetent when it comes to hiding their ineptitude -- they don't have to look far. The Republican Party, eager to portray President Obama as an executive more bumbling than George W. Bush, is ready to pitch in on the effort. Want cover up everything? That's easy. Just say everything is Barack Obama's fault.


[McClatchy Newspapers:]

From former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to Arizona Sen. John McCain to junior members of the House of Representatives, conservative Republicans have accused President Barack Obama of failing to do all he can to help clean up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill because he hasn't waived a U.S. maritime law called the Jones Act.

That statute, established in 1920, requires that all goods transported between U.S. ports be carried on U.S.-flagged, U.S.-built and U.S.-owned ships crewed by U.S. citizens or permanent residents. Critics say that's needlessly excluded foreign-flagged vessels that could have helped.

"It's a little shocking to me that a president that has such a multinational orientation as this president didn't immediately see the benefits of waiving the Jones Act and allowing all of these resources to come in," former House Majority Leader Richard Armey, R-Texas, said in remarks to Newsmax.com, a conservative website.


"Totally not true," Mark Ruge, counsel to the Maritime Cabotage Task Force, a coalition of U.S. shipbuilders, operators and labor unions, told McClatchy. "It is simply an urban myth that the Jones Act is the problem." Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen says he's received no requests for Jones Act waivers -- because none are necessary in this case.

"If the vessels are operating outside state waters, which is three miles and beyond, they don't require a waiver," Allen says.

But the Jones Act lie as become the official stance of the Republican Party. In an act of political theater, the GOP will release a partisan "report," written by the unfortunate Rep. Darrell Issa, that claims, "According to local officials, the decision to not waive the Jones Act has impaired Gulf Coast clean-up efforts. The most likely application of a broad-based Jones Act waiver would be for the operation of boats equipped with skimmers, which is one of the most effective tools to clean up the oil. Rear Admiral Jim Watson conceded in a briefing to Chairman Towns and Ranking Member Issa that the Coast Guard does not currently have access to a sufficient numbers of skimmers."

Of course, these are Republicans we're talking about here. Lying is just part of the game for them. And Issa has a raging woody for impeaching Barack Obama -- again, lying is no impediment to this plan. In fact, it's necessary to it. Obama has broken no laws, so Issa has to make up crimes. He's been approaching the problem through a laughable attempt to trump up offering Joe Sestak an unpaid position into a crime, but that really doesn't seem to have any legs at all. If his big "Sestak affair" won't get the job done, maybe his "Jones Act affair" will. The point isn't to remove the president from office -- although I'm sure he wouldn't mind it -- the point is to tarnish Obama's boy scout image in time for the 2012 presidential elections. Speaking to Pennsylvania Republicans last month, Issa told them he'd use subpoena power to harass the White House and let corporations off the hook if Republicans gain control of the House in November.

"That will make all the difference in the world," he said. "I won't use it to have corporate America live in fear that we're going to subpoena everything. I will use it to get the very information that today the White House is either shredding or not producing."

And if inventing an Obama crime means helping BP cover up an actual crime, then cover-up it is. Because, let's face it, lying and protecting corporate interests are just what Republicans do.

-Wisco


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News Roundup for 7/1/10

Not Arizona

-Headline of the day-
"RedState Gathering 2010."

Whoohoo! There's gonna be a big wingnut party in Austin, Texas, as the rightwing RedState.com has some sort of convention or company picnic or something. These are Republicans, after all, so expect things to get real crazy. I predict lots of drinking and gay sex and probably some meth. Leave it to them to find the one place in Texas that isn't crazy to descend upon with their wingnut tomfoolery.

And how crazy are these guys? This crazy: "September 17 to September 19, 2010 we’ll be in Austin, TX rubbing in the noses of the hippies our support for Arizona."

Two points here: one, this is America, so speak English you commie Erik Erickson. I had to decipher that sentence. Those Texas textbooks aren't even out yet, so you don't have any excuse. And two, why are you going to Texas to show your support for Arizona? How's that work? Seems to me that if you want to throw a big "Huzzah for Arizonan racism!" party, the place to do it would be someplace that's actually called "Arizona."

Next up, a Christmas party in support of Israel to be held in Syria. They'll noses rub in hippies of stuff there. (RedState.com)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, Dogboy and Mr. Dan are back and they're here to talk about Russian spies!


Click for animation

Remember, never mind all the other stuff that's going haywire lately, the real important thing is Russian spies! (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"America's Got Talent 2010 - Audition 9 - Buddy Holly Cheesehead."

You ever wonder what it's like to live in Madison, Wisconsin? Of course not, no one does. But if this blog exists for any reason, it's to courageously ask the questions no one else asks -- like "What's it like to live in Madison, Wisconsin?"

America's Got Talent contestant Buddy Holly Cheesehead is my real life buddy Art Paul Schlosser; a State Street busker, folky jokester, and local fixture. So here ya go, this is what it's like to live in Madison, Wisconsin.

Deal with it. (YouTube)


-While we're on the subject of things that are awesome...-
YouTube has added a custom sizing feature to their embeds. This kicks so much ass! You can't imagine how much easier this makes my life. I was actually editing the aspect ratio of videos down to a width of 390 pixels all on my lonesome, which was a pain! Think about it... "aspect ratio..." The term itself is enough to give you a headache. They may be the two most boring words in the English language. I was in real danger of losing my backwater blogger nerd-chic and becoming a dweeb, which the chicks most definitely do not dig. Now, math is a chore that's rightly been assigned to our cyber-robot slaves. Yay for cyber-robot slaves!

You gotta love it when the world gets a little bit better. (YouTube)