-Headline of the day-
"GOP leader denies charge he's out bar-hopping every night."
MSNBC's token Republican (other than crazy old Pat Buchanan) is the former Rep. Joe Scarborough, who heads up their morning news show. Somewhere, there's an unwritten law that morning news shows have to be idiotic and I guess Joe fit the bill. So he and a bunch of MSNBC people get up early, pretend they aren't on a news show, and -- just coincidentally, mind you -- talk about the news. It's morning and it's fun and aren't they whacky and freewheeling and shut up, you're making me dumb!
Still if you're actually too stupid to understand the news when you get up in the morning, Fox and Friends is your show. The rest are just pretending to be complete idiots -- call Joe Scarborough and the gang at Morning Joe incomplete idiots. Occasionally, all this freewheeling wheels off into some sort of sense and then you've got trouble. Take, for example, this:
See now, this explains the pigmentation -- it's not bronzer, it's jaundice. John Boehner's managed to drink himself orange. Explains all the crying, too. And mistaking the financial meltdown for an ant.
Hold up, though. John says this isn't true at all. "Boehner grew up with 11 brothers and sisters and his dad owned a bar," his spokesperson says, "but the only time he's 'around town' these days is to raise money for our House Republican team."
You know, that doesn't exactly exclude the idea that he's out every night. And why does his spokesperson call him "Boehner?" (Raw Story)
-Republican family values on parade-
I can't do better than to quote the story directly:
Less than two weeks after he was sentenced to six months probation on an impaired driving charge, former state House Speaker Craig DeRoche was arrested early Sunday morning after a family member called and said he was intoxicated and carrying a gun.
"We got a call from a family member," said Novi Deputy Police Chief Thomas Lindberg. "But no shots were fired and no one was injured."
According to Novi Police Department reports, DeRoche's wife told police that she was out of town and concerned for her three children because DeRoche was caring for them but sounded intoxicated on the phone when she called. She also said that one of her children told her he kept falling off his bike when they went for a bike ride.
She called a friend and asked him to get DeRoche out of the house and then her mother to look after the children.
The friend told police that DeRoche did come over to his house, but got upset and left. While the friend rode a bike alongside DeRoche as he walked home trying to convince him to stay at his house, the friend also called police. When DeRoche saw police lights approaching, he ran into a wooded area and police couldn’t immediately find him, the report said.
Shortly later, the mother-in-law told police that DeRoche broke into his locked home, retrieved a loaded, 40-caliber handgun from a safe in the home's master bedroom and walked into one of his children's bedrooms.
He left the bedroom and his mother-in-law convinced him to turn the gun over to her, the report said. He removed the magazine from the gun, handed it over and the mother-in-law, who hid it in the laundry room.
When police arrived shortly before 1 a.m. Sunday, DeRoche was holding one of his children and told police he had done nothing wrong. They were able to convince him to put down the child before arresting him.
OK, a couple of points here: One, invoking your Second Amendment right is not parenting. That's just not gonna work. And two, WTF? I've been on a few benders myself, but it's never ended in a decision whether to defend myself from police using a gun or a kid. That's just escalating everything needlessly. I don't care how hammered you are, that just makes you a bad person.
See kids, this is what can happen to you if you ride your bike while you're drunk -- and Republican. Don't do it. I don't care how cool your friends say it will make you.
John Boehner, take notice. This could be you. (Detroit Free Press, via Wonkette)
"Some 70,000 turtle eggs to be whisked far from oil."
People really need to start putting more thought into the wording of headlines... (Associated Press)